Silly me

Creature comforts (sort of)

Got myself a chair, you know, to chill out.

It's harder work than I thought. Seriously.

Well worth it in the end though.

3 minutes inside my head

1. I wanna play with Daddy’s phone.
2. I wanna put on Mommy’s shoes.
3. GET MOMMY’S SHOES OFF MY FEET NOW!
4. I wanna pull these drawers out.
5. I wanna turn on and off the light on the microwave.
6. Is there anyone here with a phone I haven’t played with yet?
7. I NEED TO PUSH SOME GODDAMN BUTTONS.
8. I wanna climb up that drawer.
9. I wanna throw all the toothbrushes in the sink.
10. HOLY SHIT I’M STARVING.
11. CHEDDAR BUNNIES.
12. I HATE FRUIT.
13. I want out of my chair.
14. I wanna play with the iPad.
15. I wanna go outside. No, I wanna turn the TV on.
16. I wanna take my pants off.
17. I don’t like the tee I’m wearing.
18. I wanna play with Mommy’s phone.
19. I NEED TO PUSH MORE BUTTONS NOW.
20. I’m thirsty.
21. No, not for that.
22. Yes, perfect, water. I’m gonna pour this all over myself.
23. Where’s Daddy?
24. Where’s Mommy?
25. Where’s Mommy?.
26. SERIOUSLY WHERE’S MOMMY!?
27. Oh my God I think Mommy left forever.
28. Ok, there’s mommy. I want to play with her phone
29. Hungry again. Never mind
30. I just remembered not liking these pants. Get them off.
31. STOP TAKING OFF MY PANTS!
32. Wow, I’m starving. I want peas but don’t know how to tell anyone.
33. Finally, peas. I like throwing these.
34. WHY DO I STILL HAVE THESE PANTS ON?
35. Oh look, a new person. I wonder if they have a phone.
36. I'm tired.
37. I'M NOT TIRED!
38. I wanna go for a walk but I don’t wanna go outside.
39. No, not inside either!
40. I need to push some buttons right now.
41. I hate this diaper.
42. My eyes itch.
43. WOW! Is this my toe?
44. STOP TRYING TO TAKE MY PANTS OFF!
45. I hate these pants.
46. This tee itches.
47. I’m tired.
48. Stop asking me if I’m tired.
49. Where’s that toy that goes beep.
50. I wanna take a bath in my clothes.
51. Put on my favorite song.
52. Where’s Mommy?
53. What is UP with my shirt?
54. Did I just hear a dog bark?
55. YOU DID NOT JUST TRY TO TAKE OFF MY SHIRT AGAIN!
56. I wanna see a dog.
57. No, not OUTSIDE! I wanna see a dog inside.
58. Is my penis still there? Good.
59. I peed.
60. I’m bored.




Adapted from Jason Good - jasongood.net

The Odyssey - Part 1

Friend -

And what an odyssey it has been. I've described it below. Leave me your comments below - let's get the chat going!

Let's wind back to mid July. It all started with the dreaded commute. Same old really.

That's me with mum here. Note my adherence to 'minimal eat and drink' policy on planes. Only way to stay fit when one spends heaps of time on planes. Mum clearly oblivious of that idea.

A few times mum fell asleep and I had to keep watch over things. Of course that got boring after 20 seconds so I had a fair few chats with the crew. Sharing views on the 340-600 vs the 744, the increase in duty times in the industry, etc. Usual banter.

Sleep

We eventually made it to St Gallen. Time for a hot bath to mellow things up a bit. Comfy, aye?

I had an awesome time in St Gallen. As it must have for Napoleon, my time on the Eastern front felt much like a boot camp.

First things first. One needs a military hair cut. And I got one. Oh dear oh dear. There went my boyish good looks.

Obstacle course and bicycle training were the foundations of my condition training. Note that I soon resolved to push obstacles around. More fun.

.

Lots of walking. Lots.

Altitude training.

Then reading drills with Grossmami.

Musical training with Grosspapi

Acting courses with Daniel. I'm a natural, he says.

And bringing the lot together - live performance training with Reli. Note that facial hair is a real plus. I'm working on it.

Until the big day, Swiss National Day. Wow. Boy was I ready for this.

I also caught up with friends Janina and Zoe.

Turned into a bit of a Romeo & Juliet situation. Age difference got in the way of an amazing future romance with Janina (she says). The impossible love. But hey, the trampoline made up for all that.

I had a jolly good time - again. Thanks folks!

The Odyssey - Part 2

Eventually Europe remembered that July is supposed to be summery and the weather took a turn for the better.

Sun and warmth, my kind of weather.

Things went on pretty much as before. A mix of social banter, discovery and exercise. We caught up with Luna, Linda and Francois. Good company, good food. Look forward to seeing them again around Christmas time.

I got to play the prince in Emma, Claire and Mathilde's fairytale story. We conquered some magical kingdom or other, then had to fend off pirates from our bed-shape galleon. Routine stuff, really. The highlight was the gilet. Gotta get myself one of those.

Emma performed at the end of a week of circus school. The biscuits were amazing.

Spent quality time with the family in Saint-Martin. Yannick's apero was astonishing, although sadly I didn't get to sample all the liquid stuff. Dad seemed to enjoy it more and more as the evening went on. Go figure.

I quickly bonded with Auntie Mado and watched things with her.

Leon was super kind and witty as usual, and Sylviane a terrific host.

Great fun with Marine, Geoffroy and Thibault. And their rodents. Oh, and their toy cars.

Also spent the night at the Gai Soleil, dad's hideout when he was my age (later too). Mum, dad and I slept in the same room, something I seldom allow. No drama to report. Went to bed to the sight of a nice sunset, and woke up my positively radiant self.

That day I received a crash course in alpine life. Hiking, looking around, family time etc.

Now, forget the cute mountain landscapes, the family bonding and all that. The real thing is playing with the 'bassin', a hollowed log they use to catch source water. Hours of fun. And an urgent need for warm dry clothes at the end.

The alpine theme continued when Grossmami and Grosspapi paid us a visit (if you struggle with all the Grossmami and grand-maman stuff, well, just pay more attention). We had a fine time together.

We also went on a hike on the bisse de Torrent-Neuf (see http://www.torrent-neuf.ch). The very best of technology in Valais in the 15th century - and just as boring today. Look at my face on those pictures, 'nuf said.

Had a series of easy-going days with grand-maman and grand-papa - pool-side or chips-side.

It was good to spend time with grand-maman and grand-papa. It had pretty nearly been a year since we last were together.

That time was also an opportunity for more meditative moments. Profound conclusions emerged: I can't be bothered with horses (click on the second picture for more detail), and they have rainbows up north too.

In the end I had to attend to affairs at home. So, hopped on the plane, watched a few (obviously thrilling) movies and snoozed my way back to Sydney.

A big hug and thanks to all of you for the sweet time up in Europe. Or up home, as it very much felt.

Finny